A change.: September 2009

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

-Revamp-

Recover fast. Change quick!

I need a life makeover.

My mind's messed up with thoughts that i need someone to read my mind, and tell me what i should do, cause i myself cant express HOW i feel.

Complicated, on the bright side, my life isnt that complicated compared to other people.

And whatever it is i am feeling, i need to remove them.

[b] So weird.. Are we still as close as before? Thats my only concern.

Monday, September 28, 2009

-Interesting..-

Should i, Should i not?
Do i want it? Is it worth it?

Im questioning myself.
Ill give myself sometime to think over this.

[b] lying is wrong, but what can i do?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

-A little way too much-

Okay~ There is significance why i had a post filled the date "26 September 2009".

Certainly a date to remember.

I shall keep the details with me.

I had a fun time, and lets put it that way.

But, somehow, after yesterday, i am beginning to feel quite uneasy.

Is it me, being too paranoid?

I can never tell.

However, yesterday spent with you felt warm, great and i did not feel weird, it felt so right.

*and i just saw you online!! OMFG, im so glad to see you*

[b] I was feeling all emo, until i saw you XD

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I dont think i will be posting till like next month, i might drop by blogger to post whenever there is news. Daily posts gets rather boring, as i always find myself cracking my brain. Writing isn't my strength. I am trying to improve on that, since last year XP

My life changed. I want to change. I want to break free - freedom.

It is about time.

I believe in miracles.

[b] ooooo baby.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

-Help me-

Ok, first things first. I might have just made my impression on you, bad.
One thing lead to another matter, and the conversation turned negative. GOSH!

Im sorry for what i have said, i am feeling horrible. Like what you mentioned, nobody is perfect..
I believe that phrase so much, that i want to try to make things perfect. LOL.
How stupid of me.

I dont think i want to make the situation any worse than it is. I will let things cool between us, because i do not want my emotions to overtake my mind, where i begin to say things i should not have.

[b] How silly could i have been
We need some space for the mean time~

Saturday, September 19, 2009

-Desperado-

Ok, I think im pulling myself off as being too desperate.

It is time to give you some space:)

Anyway. Just a quick random update and a note for myself.

Brendon... I know you like the person, crying, saying you are crying to that person,.. is like another option for that person to dislike you. Being over exaggerated, dramatic, but YOU(not me) got to know that this feelings are real, and not some fake shit :P

I will take whatever comes, like really. Im not going to go so gugu-gaga over you, or maybe to a limit. I can sense im pulling the wrong chord in you. Nevertheless, im gonna try not to pour my emotions onto you.

[b] Thats all really... Just miss you that much, that much.

Friday, September 18, 2009

-For change!-

I swear! By next week, my lifestyle for my holidays, will be altered! Maybe not be as simple as going to some alteration shop, asking to alter the length of sleeve or pants and then just pay for it.

I dont care!! I need to change. Especially if i really want to keep you..

It is a personal choice to change. I feel i need to change, and i will use you as a source of motivation. I cant stand to lose someone like you, even more so when i am already swept away by that tidal-love wave. I really want to be with you,.. will it come true? Will that dream, fantasy eventually come? I think it will all be based on next week, monday 21.09.09. (omg, is it a public holiday?) DAMN. Im already losing the drive to do so. Wtfreak. All that adrenaline for nothing.

Yesterday's webcam session was a great way to end the day. I know it was the same for you. Your smile never seem mundane,.. I wish i was there. When will i be!!? I feel as though time is running out. You asked me out this saturday, tomorrow 19.09.09. I dont want to spoil the "fun". Neither do i want to fall in too deep, even when i know it is a fact that i want to.

Never Mind! I will be patient, and hope you will. I dont want to make me look like an easy prey.. :P

[b] I want you badly

Thursday, September 17, 2009

-Upset-

Apparently i was NOT chosen to present. Sob sob. HAHA

Its whatever. Maybe my presentation board isnt good enough to show.

Like what Mr Chieu smsed me on that day. Only those who scored A+ need to present.

Oh yea?

Only A+?

Kiss my ass la.

But anyway, i was pretty bumped out.

This is the Suppose finished presentation board.

Would i have the chance to present with this nicely done board?

Anyway. I should be grateful. But im kind of jealous... I shan't elaborate.

Happy stuff:

Ilikeit! Wes gave it to me;)

Thanks once again.

Semi-happy stuff: My mind's still not functioning well. It has been almost one week/or less..

Still overly thinking about you. Its beyond anything i have experienced within my 18 years. :D

Im glad i have close friends to share this with.

-Need i say more?-

One "hi" and all it took. I still remember that day. It was only just a few days ago. 4 or 5 days ago if i am not wrong. That was all it took. You made me dump my past crushes, brainwashed me, swept me off my feet and had more coming when we first webcam together.

I must be dreaming. I really must have been dreaming i told myself. Nevertheless, your charm was surely beaming throughout that 30 minutes we spent staring at each other. I fell in love. We smiled, laughed, like we knew one another for years. I told you i was shaking, nervousness probably, and you said why are you shaking..? Those words... made me calm my nerves down.

I am not trying to deny my emotions for you. I was pretty open with my feelings and thoughts of you that i made it almost quite clear i liked you.

Is it fate that we met? I feel it is so, somehow.

I always await smses from you. You're busy at work, i feel like you are over stressing. I try my best to help, but i always seem to fail in doing so. You wait for me to come online on msn and vice versa. I can tear up just thinking of you. I have never been that sensitive to love.

I could not sleep the whole of yesterday until the last few minutes of desperation to catch some sleep which was around 5am. I was thinking, thinking and thinking.. Mind in a mess, totally troubled, tossing and turning in bed. Then today, you told you too also had trouble sleeping. Maybe you were caught up with work in mind, maybe you were also "troubled" with what i was troubling with. I believe what you told me, and it had me saying to myself, maybe there is something occurring..

Ok, im trying hard to hold back tears right now.. wtfreak

Anyway. Time for up-to-date blog. I went out today with dearest Wes.

I just needed to get out of the house, because being at home was somehow stressing me. Mind is filled. So whatever. I went to ask my mom if i could go out. Then off i went to meet him at dover station, to Douby Ghaut. We had at least 3 hours to catch up with our lives. I think this time we were really spontaneous. I had many juicy news for him, and i was eager to let it all go.

Chatted. Subway sandwiches for dinner ( awesome ). I missed him. Its like, we get to meet once every so often. Really intimate talks this time round. HAHA.

G-force was supposedly the choice of movie to watch. So yea. I wanted to catch the "Final Destination 3D" but i was told it was not good and nothing special, and i also could find the movie online, although the quality sucks! "G-Force" turned into our word today:D

*Oh yea, i saw one my school's lecturers at Cathay.. Dont know who he was, so didnt say hello:I*

Same situation i had when watching 3D movies. I wear 2 glasses. Other people also had 2 on, so i didnt feel im alone.

Overall, movie was rather a 6.5/6 out of 10.. Am i being too harsh? Ok, maybe a 8/8.5 out of 10 for the graphics. The movie was just simply guinea pigs trying to save the world, along that line one way or another. The Guinea pigs are rather very cute.

After the movie, Wes and i headed back to plaza singapura, because he was hungry, due to the early dinner of subway.

Top floor, food court. We just so happened to be sitting a few meters away from " Pepper Lunch Express" .. and you know they have those big BIG Tvs showing how to cook the food..

then someone came to settle down a table next to us, with his hot plate from Pepper Lunch....

Imagine this.. The sizzling sound from the Tv, smell from the guy's late dinner, made our mouth water. =.=

We only had dessert from there..

*OMG. Thanks WESLEY! I wasnt expecting you to give me a gift! Gaahh! Im so surprized! OMGOMGOMGOMG. Thankyousomuch! <3

Im currently stuck with nothing to write. All i can think of is you! I hope i can rest well today/tonight. Is badminton still on tomorrow?

Anyway. I REALLY LIKE YOU SO MUCH. Gosh. tearing up again! :'-I

Byee

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

-Swept-

Meow Chieu People!

SWEPT. One word! Swept i tell you!
Swept off my feet. Swept off my chair. Swept my heart.
Nevertheless, im still trying to control. Control my urge. Control.

I really enjoy seeing you! Turned into a daily-must-do-thing from day one. I just dont want to be broken. Im not perfect. But you're so perfect to me. I just want to that one for you. Gosh. I know im talking to air.

Anyway. A lazy day to begin with. Tomorrow im heading to school, maybe for a presentation. Im ready! Bring it on. Choose me. :P

Short update. [I need to increase my vocabulary]

Reciprocate : to respond/give feedback? :D

Monday, September 14, 2009

-Meow Chieu-

Meow Chieu people! :D:D:D

Random~ Meeeeeow~

-Amazing Blog i have~-

I have this HDB wall mural thing to do. Due this wednesday. wtf.

Date-line is only 2 days away. Hmmmph!

Whatever it is, im just going to do a good job. At least have my drawing WOW-ed at. :P

Cracking my mind. Thinking. Coming up with ideas ( in my head ). Squeezing some creative juice, currently running low on time at the moment.

Im a meticulous person. A perfectionist. I have split personality. I love last minute work, but hate it a LOT more. Im a person jumbled up with many other characters. I can be drunk-crazy or dead-serious. @.@ Im a hard-worker with an attitude and characteristics of a lazy person. I have no self-motivation, unless due date is a day away. If im a king, i would king of procrastination. The queen of sleeping. The prince of gaming. The princess of whatever.

Sometimes i regret opening my mouth, especially to my mom. I wish to slap myself in the face, roll my eyes as hard as i can, shake my head. Although it is good to open up, sometimes we need to learn something, a word, an acronym: STFU!

Heee~ * did i type all that?! *

-Im falling.. fallen-

Once again... Hellopeopleinthevirtualworld! What is up?! Late night, sleepless night. Not sleepless per se. Just body clock, totally shifted off the edge. Night becomes my day, day becomes my official night. Jet lag in the wrong way some more. Silly me.

Anyway. I think it is like another one of those times when i find myself falling for someone. Like the chat was definitely not dry, certainly felt as though there was a connection going on. Nevertheless, that someone already has someone. Would i say its a competition? Or would it be like normal? I cant tell. But no matter what it is, even if im accepted or not, flow along~.

I cant be falling for that someone just yet right? I havent met that someone for real.
Behind our screens, we certainly have that back and forth communication. Which is a good sign. Maybe im paranoid. Maybe im not. Maybe im just too easily swept off my feet by anyone that is attractive to me.

I want to be that perfect fit. The one that someone would go all crossed-eyed over and drool. Thats life..

So be it. Have it your way~
[b]oss me not.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

-MY OLD BLOGSKIN BACK!-

Hmm, yesterday blogger was fine. Today blogger gone nuts.
Whatever it is. I am glad i manage to copy and paste back my old blogskin!
Now, i feel it is more me, but, somehow i am think of editing the the html such that the "body" which the posts, are in the middle, and the rest are pushed to the top.

GUESS WHAT?? Sony Ericssion W902 is like no longer in production.. wtf?
I thought it was one of the latest phone out there. wtf.
And like. I had been eyeing that particular model for the first time i saw it. wtf.
Now, im looking for that model? Its no longer in phase. wtf.

ohwells. I still love my old W810i <3
Best phone i have. EVER. Period!

Bloggers nut, Brendon's shocked!
Nothing much to add.

Just another quicky update.

**ok..~ The internet connection broke just a few seconds back. I thought i lost all my text i typed. Luckily it didnt. And the exciting part. Blogger is fine now. LOL. All the icons are there.**

thats so random.

suicidal thoughts

Hello bitches~

Anyway, let me start of by giving myself a warm welcome back hug! 3 months of no post, must have been dead boring for you people who come to visit, hoping i update~ Fear not, i am back, for today! HAHA

So far school life, life isn't that bad. Like personally, my last few weeks in school before the holidays were like ... i cant explain. I was switched on to Zombie mode. Sleeping in the morning, trying to finished up my project! I think those late nights have really affected me. I cant sleep early anymore. wtf.

>Heads up : I cried when i did not know how to use photoshop. I broke down, cried during the last few hours before "submission". Thankfully, submission date that day, was postponed!

My first suicidal thoughts happened then! I felt it was surely worse than my O level Art last year. OMG. But of course, everything last minute is fucking bad. AND AND my photoshop skills are so lousy, i was so embarrassed to show my stuff in front of the lecturers and friends! damn..

Ohyea. Stupid blog. I hate this blog, my blog! So ugly!!! At first it was not bad, since i almost edited the html to my likings. However, now i cant seem to copy and paste the html back. Grrrr. Miserable. So, i am trying to personalize this particular html, the COMMON template........ its hard!

What i have been doing............ Pictures? want...?

Ok, so this is my first try, my OFFICIAL presentation board.. SO fugly!!

Fuck, then i ran out of time, then 2 layers were over lapping. WTFFFFFFFFFFF

If given at least 10 minutes, i would have made it more presentable, however still ugly.. like EEEEWWWW..

Anyway, Given the time to play around with functions, i think i would have done this. Showed my sister, she was like, still not good..

So, ok, its not fantastic.

Boards were 2 A1..

I did it.. All on my own.. *im so proud of the fact i treated this as an individual project without much lecturers help*

Grades are ok.. But photoshop wise.. I was given a "B"...

Bye. this is weird....

A change.